Comedy Writing

Reductress

(Selected)

Man Engages in Beautiful Italian American Tradition of Taking Matters Into His Own Hands (Luigi Mangione)

40 Is the New 20! This Woman Just Ate 40,000 McNuggets

Woman for Whom Nothing Is Going Right Takes Solace in Having a Huge Ass

Feel Old Yet? D.W. From Arthur Just Got Gay Divorced

Climate Change Activist? This Woman Is Vegetarian Because She’s Afraid to Cook Meat

REPORT: Friend Is In Europe and You’re Going to Fucking Hear About It

A24 Announces They’re Done With the Emo Shit, Finally Rich Enough to Fund a Movie With Big Explosion

Deadline Near Enough to Inspire Anxiety But Not Near Enough to Inspire Action

Magic! Woman Transforms Quick 30-Minute Recipe Into Life-Threatening Three-Hour Recipe

Suck It, Descartes! This Woman Thinks, But She Isn’t

Why I Stopped Wearing Makeup and Started Keeping a Portrait in My Attic that Ages as I Sin

Woman Who Was Once Afraid of Being Perceived As Gay Now Offended You Don’t Perceive Her As Gay

Woman Unsure How Many more ‘Sounds Good’s She Has In Her

5 Sweaters That Scream And Scream And Scream And Will Not Stop Screaming

Woman Excited to Reach Point In Career Where Men Say She Doesn’t Deserve It

Study Finds Studying Abroad in England Doesn’t Count

Uh-Oh! Woman Who Was Doing Her Makeup Now Caressing Own Cheek, Gazing into Own Eyes, Wondering How She’s Really in There

Let’s See How They Like It! This Woman Listens in On the CIA

4 Yoga Poses to Distract You from the Fact That Your Enemies Might Still Lead Fulfilling Lives

Gagging for This Hottie! This Political Leader is Just Doing his Job But We’re Gonna Make It Weird

At Your Age, Your Parents Already Had Kids. Here’s Why They Shouldn’t Have

Therapist Unknowingly in Constant Competition with Mitski’s Tiny Desk Concert

REPORT: Dog Afraid of 4th of July Fireworks Because They Suggest Owner is Proud of Country

Jealous? This Woman Woke Up from a Coma and Doesn’t Know What A “Boy Mom” Is

Radical Self-confidence? This Woman Made A Typo in an Email but Isn’t Going to Quit Her Job

How I Stopped Worrying About Constantly Being Productive and Started Worrying About What Happens When We Die

What the Fuck? This Woman Digests Dairy

I Actually Can’t Whistle,' Says Woman Who Also Can’t Do So Many More Important Things

Woman Excited to Bring Book to and from Beach Without Opening It